Along similar lines, isn't one of the major themes of IM3 that Tony can't save the day alone? That he needs Happy and Rhodey and Pepper and Harley and JARVIS? While Pepper took what was meant to harm her and turned it into her weapon for striking back. (And earlier, she tried to let Killian down gently with talk of Tony's priorities, but when he kept pressing, she firmly shut him down. Like a boss.)

And I'll agree, wallwaker, that it's frustrating that Maya needed Tony's help ... but I thought the opening scene gave every indication that she specifically sought out Tony because she had hit a roadblock and she then determined the likely best source of progress. (He's a weapons manufacturer giving a speech at a medical conference; I think that even at this point, he's widely recognized as a polymath.) His primary interest was canoodling; hers was accessing a resource to get a job done. She also came up with a promising strategy (kidnap Pepper) to re-acquire that resource for further exploitation while her funder was short-sightedly trying to blow up that same resource.

Which is not at all to say that it's not worthwhile to examine the "male" and "female" roles in the film. I'm actually hoping that our not seeing Maya's actual dead body means she had another trick up her sleeve, and that we may see her again ....