[FFXIII] Clean (Fang/Vanille, SFW)

[wallwalker]

Title: Clean
Fandom: FFXIII
Characters: Fang/Vanille

Another piece I found that I wrote on fic_promptly. Fang helps Vanille cope with something terrible.

Vanille still hadn't come in out of the rain.

Against all of her instincts, Fang had left her alone at first; the other l'Cie in Oerba had said that it would be best. She needed time to get used to what she had done, they had said, and it was best if she did it on her own. They had all gone through it, they had assured her. They understood.

After an hour, Fang had decided that they didn't know as much as they said they did. Vanille was still out there, and she'd be damned if she left her alone any longer.

She was sure that a few of the other villagers had seen her when she'd slipped out. None of them, not even the other l'Cie, had said a word. None of them had looked surprised, but she hadn't been able to tell if they had looked disappointed in her.

Not that she cared. It was just that she'd wondered... but it didn't matter. Not then.

Vanille was still standing where Fang had left her, still staring to the south, toward the tower. She hadn't moved; she'd barely even shifted. Her head was bowed, her shoulders slumped, her staff lying on the damp ground beside her. Fang didn't need to see her face to see how miserable she was.

It was harder for her. Fang understood that. Vanille wasn't weak - none of the humans chosen by Anima had ever been weak - but she wasn't a warrior. Fang had trained with the spear since she'd been big enough to handle one properly; she had wanted to be chosen, had wanted to live up to the stories that her mother had told her about her father. But Vanille had never expected this life. She had never been thought that someday she would be expected to take up a weapon and fight.

Hunting beasts was one thing; everyone had to know how to hunt. Gran Pulse was too dangerous for anyone to expect to survive if they didn't know how to defend themselves. But killing another human being was different.

Fang made no attempt to move quietly. She was sure that Vanille could hear her, but if she did, she made no sign of it. She stayed still, even when Fang was close enough to touch her, if she had chosen... but Fang did not, not yet. She wanted to, but did not know if she should.

Vanille's head was still slumped over, looking down at her own hands. They were clean, now, washed by the falling rain. They had not been so clean an hour ago; they had been covered in the man's blood. He had threatened them, had nearly killed them... they did not know who had chosen him, or where he was from. Maybe the serpent had somehow sent one of her servants down to stop them from carrying out their Focus, or maybe a l'Cie of one of the other nations had come to attack them out of envy. They would never know now; his body had already been carried away. Fang had cast it into the sea of dust herself.

Vanille was staring down at her hands as if there were still blood on them. She had touched him... she had been trying to check his pulse, Fang had realized. She had been trying to see if he was still alive, if she might be able to save him. She had not been able to accept that he was dead.

"Hey," Fang finally said, quietly.

Vanille didn't say anything right away, but she lifted her head. Fang could see her blinking away rain, or tears, or both. "Fang?" she asked, her voice shaking.

"Yes," she said. "I'm here."

She held up her hands. "Will it ever wash off, Fang?" There was a plea in her voice. "Will it?"

Vanille wanted her to tell her that it would, that someday she'd be able to forget that she'd killed a man. She wanted to know that she would be able to go back home someday and forget that she had ended his life, that she had wielded the weapon that had cut his throat and left him dead on the ground, in the pouring rain. Fang was sure of that - she herself had once wanted the same thing. She had wanted someone to tell her that, even if it had been a lie.

But she didn't have it in her to lie to Vanille. "I'm sorry," she said, reaching for her. "I wish it had been me instead."

Vanille shook her head. "I can't help thinking about it," she continued. "About the look on his face, the way he just stared at us. The way he charged at you. I didn't even mean to kill him, I was just afraid he'd hurt you, and I just... I don't know...." She took a long, shaking breath. "Why did he do it?"

"I don't know," Fang said. "I wish I could tell you I did."

Vanille squeezed her eyes shut again. "He could've been anyone," she said. "He could've had a whole family waiting for him somewhere. He could've... but he came here, and now he's dead. He'll never be able to... to...."

"Shhh." Fang reached out and pulled Vanille into her arms. The other l'Cie had been wrong, she thought. Even if Fang couldn't tell Vanille everything was going to be okay, she was going to help her through this.

Vanille, unashamed of her tears, cried on Fang's shoulder for a long, long time.