[FFVIII] Dissonance (Martine, PG)

[wallwalker]

Title: Dissonance
Author: wallwalker
Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII
Rating: PG (should really switch systems sooner or later)
Characters: Martine
Word Count: 312
Warnings: Minor spoilers, I suppose.
Summary: Martine can't help but find benefits in his exile.
Notes: Written for fic_promptly.

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Sometimes, Martine would catch himself thinking that exile wasn't so bad after all.

Martine wasn't completely shocked; he'd studied psychology before, he knew it was only human nature to find bright spots in otherwise unbearable situations. Half of their training program was based on the students' tendencies to develop intense loyalty to a cause that caused them a great deal of pain. Dissonance, they called it, if his memory still served him - put them through hell and they would find reasons to love the ones who did it, because they had to or go insane. And he was still ashamed - he should be ashamed of what had happened, of losing control. He still hadn't been able to make himself take off his uniform, not matter how dirty or ragged it became; somehow doing that would feel like a final act of surrender. He'd have to do it someday, he supposed - he did have other clothes now, at least - but not until he had no choice.

But he was still surprised to find that, at certain moments, he was actually enjoying his exile from Galbadia Garden. He had never thought he'd value this sort of freedom; he'd been raised by a military man and had been one himself, and he'd thought he needed structure, rules and regulations. But he found that he liked being able to come and go as he pleased, to go to Galbadia and visit Caraway for a quick chat and a game of cards whenever he liked. And Fisherman's Harbor was a lovely place, at night. Everyone there treated him with real kindness, not the grudging respect that he'd gotten from his faculty and students.

Dissonance, he thought, smiling wryly to himself as he stared up at the stars over the harbor. He'd studied a bit of psychology. That didn't make him immune to it.

(Also, if you're curious - Cognitive Dissonance Theory. Martine doesn't get it exactly right; he's a headmaster, not a psychologist. :) But it really is often used in military institutions to build morale.)